Somewhere in Florida: Man Kisses Bird, Bird rips man’s face. Ouch!
A unnamed Palm Harbor man noticed a bird in his yard that didn’t fly and away took him inside. He put photos on Facebook and someone alerted the Suncoast Animal League. They contacted him and explained this bird was the Southeastern American kestrel which is protected in Florida and also illegal to keep without a special permit.
Photo: Suncoast Animal League
When the volunteer went over to collect the bird the man came to the door with a huge chunk missing from his lip.
He tried to kiss the bird goodbye.
You can see the rest of the story at The Huffington Post
If you find an injured bird in Florida please notify the local Wildlife Rescue.
For some reason the whole affair reminded me of this joke.
FRIGID PARROT
So there’s this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor – I mean he’s a pistol. He can swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird’s fowl mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “QUIT IT!”. But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, “OK for you!” and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets_very_quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he’s so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man’s out-stretched arm and says, “Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.”.
The man is astounded. He can’t understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, “By the way, pardon me for asking, but what did the chicken do?”.
This and more parrot jokes and info can be found at Planned Parrothood
